


The Sorrow of War

by FullBladderLemons (orphan_account)



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Boys Kissing, Comfort, Crying, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, First Kiss, Hurt/Comfort, Kissing, M/M, Men Crying, Underage Kissing, Yaoi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-18
Updated: 2017-04-25
Packaged: 2018-10-20 17:28:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,557
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10667388
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/FullBladderLemons
Summary: Some fluffy Erei. I will be building off of this, but here is the first chapter. I love these two together and was trying to make their character development as natural as possible for the relationship I was trying to slowly create.





	1. Chapter 1

For the third night in a row, Levi lie awake in his bed. He would like to think that he was being kept awake by the light whimpering coming from the room next to his, but in truth, he knew that he simply couldn’t sleep because of his own fears and anxieties. Levi closed his eyes, listening to the young boy crying through the thin wall, and wondering what he could possibly be crying about for three nights now. Sometimes Levi forgot that he and many of the other new recruits were just kids. Though hardened by his years in the Scout Regimen, Levi often wished that he could lie in bed and cry as Eren was doing right now.

Levi rose slowly from his bed and walked from the room. He crept the short distance to Eren’s door, and hovered outside for a moment. All he could hear was whimpering and sniffling. He honestly felt bad for Eren, and for all the young recruits. He may put on a brave face in front of them and the rest of the Scout Regimen, but he truly did care for the members of his squad. He hated to admit it, but he had a soft spot for Eren. Not only could he be the key to saving mankind and defeating the titans, but there was something about him that reminded Levi of himself at that age. There was always fire in Eren’s eyes.

“Eren?” Levi called out, knocking softly on the door. “May I come in?”

“J-Just a moment, captain.” Eren’s voice sounded frightened through the door. Levi waited outside patiently, until Eren called, “Come in!” A few moments later.

“Eren.” He repeated as he entered the room. Eren was in his pajamas, standing in a full salute. “You don’t have to do that” Levi told him, resisting a roll of his eyes.

Eren nodded, dropping his arm from across his chest and loosening his body. “Did you need something, sir?”

Levi cocked his head to the side. He said bluntly, “Why are you crying?”

“I-I’m-“

“Don’t say you’re not, because I’ve heard you for the past three nights.” Levi retorted, not intending to sound as harsh as he had.

“I’m-I’ll-Sorry, I’ll be quiet.” Eren finally muttered, his eyes facing the floor and his cheeks pink.

Levi took a step closer to Eren, taking a deep breath. His mind was telling him to turn around and walk back to his own room, but his heart was telling him to wrap the pathetic-looking boy into his arms and kiss away whatever demons he was wrestling. 

“That’s not why I came in here.” Levi paused, trying to find the right words to voice his intent. “I…I want to know why you’re upset.”

Eren raised his eyes, green and wet, his lip trembling as he spoke. “Thank you, Captain. I-I just…I can’t…I don’t want to…talk about it.” Eren finally spit out, his cheeks flushing with embarrassment. 

He was holding back tears. It was easy for Levi to see right through the boy, into his deepest emotions. Levi took another step towards Eren, leaving less than a foot of space between them. He suppressed every thought in his mind that was telling him to hold back his words, and instead, he set them free. 

“It’s okay to hurt, Eren.” 

The boy broke. Levi watched as the rippling in his eyes spilled onto his cheeks, and his breath hitched. Eren choked back a sob and dropped his eyes, trying to wipe the tears from his face as they fell. “I’m-“

Levi stifled his apology by closing the gap between them, and wrapping his arms around Eren. The boy was taller than him, and he felt his arms wrap around his chest and his head rest on Levi’s shoulder. His shirt was becoming wet with tears. Levi held Eren’s torso, pulling their bodies flush against one another. He began to rub Eren’s back as his body shook with the force of his tears. 

These sobs sounded different from the ones Levi had been hearing for the past three nights; these sounded like sobs of relief. Levi continued to rub the boy’s back in silence as his shoulder became completely soaked. When Eren’s sobs finally ceased, Levi pulled back, still keeping his hands at Eren’s waist. He looked into the boy’s broken eyes, and saw nothing but himself in that moment. He sighed, biting his lip. He was so close…He could easily bring their lips together from where he stood. 

“Captain…” He heard Eren murmur- what was that in his voice? Fear…Confusion…Seduction?

Levi slowly moved his hands from Eren’s waist, letting them drop down to his own sides. His brain was kicking back into gear, starting to win the battle between his mind and heart. He exhaled raggedly and said down to the floor, “I apologize. That was extremely inappropriate.” Levi turned to rush from the room, but was stopped by a hand on his arm.

“Captain…Please, don’t go.” Eren’s voice was shaking, laced with some innate desperation. Levi turned and faced him, finding the boy’s face tainted with the same desperation that his voice possessed. “Please.” Eren repeated, dropping his hand from Levi’s arm.

Levi stared at Eren blankly, trying to keep his emotions in check. He was overthinking the entire situation- the boy was clearly desperate for companionship and didn’t want to be left alone. Shaking the carnal thoughts from his head, Levi asked Eren, “Did you want me to stay and keep you company until you retire for the night?” His voice was calm and level, though inside, he was riddled with tension. Eren nodded slowly, opening his mouth as if to speak, and then changing his mind and shutting it once more. “What is it?” Levi asked, maintaining eye contact.

“I-I…” Eren breathed in sharply as the words rushed out of his mouth, “I thought you were about to kiss me, before.”

Both of them were now coated with a deep blush, but Levi made sure that his voice remained calm. “Did you want me to, Eren?” Levi’s heart pounded at the sound of his own words; what was wrong with him? What if he said yes?

Eren’s eyes widened, but he didn’t dare to look away from Levi’s gaze. Levi saw the boy’s Adam’s apple bob as he swallowed and said, “I did, sir.”

Levi nearly began trembling at Eren’s words. His brain was screaming at him to leave the room, to get out of there as quickly as he could. Eren was a teenage boy, and Levi was his captain. There was no scenario in which this was appropriate. Levi’s heart began to pound and his palms began to sweat as he stared into Eren’s eyes, which were wide and waiting to see what Levi was going to say or do. Levi’s mind screamed at him to the point of going blank, and he took a step forward. He exhaled shakily before leaning forward and closing the space between them.

Eren’s lips were warm and inviting- Levi pressed against them cautiously, but Eren pressed back with purpose. The kiss was short, and both of their eyes had shut the moment their lips made contact. Levi felt an electricity inside his chest every second that his lips were against Eren’s, and when he finally pulled away, he missed the other’s warmth. Levi was the one to pull back, but he didn’t move away from Eren; there was still not much space between their bodies. Levi breathed out raggedly, in a slight state of shock from his own actions. 

Eren was the one who reached out, gingerly threading their fingers together between their bodies. His hand held onto Levi’s firmly, the warmth seeping from his hand all the way up his arm and through his body. With his free hand, Levi reached up and grazed Eren’s cheek. He sighed and whispered, “I really shouldn’t have done that…” A short pause, an internal struggle between Levi’s mind and heart once more. “I wanted to, though.” He finally said, his heart claiming another victory.

“Don’t worry, Captain.” Eren whispered in return. There was a coyness in his eyes that Levi hadn’t seen before. “It’ll be our secret.”


	2. Chapter 2

Levi avoided Eren as much as possible for the next week; he felt as if any contact he had with Eren would somehow inform the others of what he had done. He didn’t regret his actions- but that didn’t erase the fact that kissing Eren was morally wrong. Whether Eren wanted it or not, he was still a teenager. Levi shouldn’t be attracted to him in the way that he was. And yet, here he was, finding any excuse possible to be a minimum of ten feet away from his younger charge at all times. It had worked rather well for about a week, until Levi heard a knock on his door in the dead of night.

“Come in.” He called. He hadn’t been sleeping, though it was late. He suffered from a bit of insomnia, and rarely slept more than a few hours a night.

Eren opened the door hesitantly, stepping into Levi’s room and standing in a full salute. “Captain!”

Levi couldn’t suppress a roll of his eyes as he sat up on his bed. “Eren, you don’t have to salute me like that, you know.”

“S-Sorry, Captain.” Eren relaxed, dropping his arm and staring at Levi. He had obviously come in here for a reason, but now seemed to be at a loss for words.

“Did you need something?” Levi asked him, eyeing the boy up and down. He was nervous; almost trembling. 

“Captain, I…” Eren stopped, averting his eyes down to his feet. He exhaled shakily and blurted out, “Are you angry with me?”

Levi was absolutely floored. He suppressed a laugh at the childish accusation, and covered his smile by shaking his head into his hand. “Eren, why…Why would I be angry with you?”

Eren raised his eyes again just as Levi removed his head from the cradle of his hand. “Because of what…happened.”

Levi took in a breath of air, holding it in his lungs for a few moments before releasing it. “Come here.” Levi told him, patting the space next to him on the bed. When Eren cautiously crept across the room and sat down, Levi exhaled deeply again. He looked at Eren, who was keeping a respectable distance between them. He was still within an arm’s reach, but clearly trying not to get too close. “I’m not angry with you at all, I just…I guess I’m paranoid.”

Eren’s eyes widened. “About what?”

“I almost feel like if I’m near you, or talk to you, someone might somehow notice that something has changed between us. It’s ridiculous, and I know that, but I just don’t want anyone to put two and two together. If anyone found out, it would be…troublesome for us both.” Levi bit his lip, embarrassed to have just spilled his guts to Eren.

Levi’s eyes widened as Eren’s hands crept across the space between them, tugging gingerly on his. Levi moved it closer to Eren cautiously, sighing as the younger man threaded their fingers together and grasped his hand. “I’m relieved that you aren’t angry.” Eren’s eyes were glued to Levi, and Levi found himself unable to look away from the boy. “Do you feel…regret…about what happened?”

“Kissing you, Eren.” Levi sighed softly, letting the words slip freely from his mouth. “I kissed you.”

Eren nodded in agreement. “Yeah…kissing me. Do you regret it?”

Levi shook his head. “No, I don’t.” He told Eren honestly. “Do you regret me kissing you?”

Eren shook his head ardently. His eyes were locked with Levi’s again, and Levi saw the boy lick his lips from the corner of his eye. He wasn’t sure whether the action was subconscious, or a signal for Levi to follow. “I don’t regret it.” His voice wavered slightly. “I wouldn’t regret it if you…kissed me again.” There was his answer.

A nervous bubbling in his chest, Levi shifted closer to Eren on the bed. “Are you sure?” He murmured, their bodies now inches away from each other and their connected hands hovering in the air by Eren’s side. Eren leaned his head in and shut his eyes, a silent reply. Levi found himself doing the same, exhaling heavily through his nose as his lips met the warmth of Eren’s. The kiss was not as succinct as their first- Levi kept his lips touching Eren’s for as long as he could, absorbing their warmth and relishing in their suppleness. He felt Eren shift on the bed, moving closer to him. His free hand found Eren’s side just as Eren’s found his cheek. He couldn’t help but take comfort in the heat of Eren’s skin against his.

Their lips came apart briefly, both of them taking in a small breath of air before the miniscule space between them was close once more. Kisses were pressed against each other’s lips with more ardency, more wanting. Levi had to resist moving his hand underneath Eren’s shirt, instead solacing himself with squeezing Eren’s side gently. Their lips moved over one another’s fluently, as if kissing was something they had practiced together and perfected over time. Their mouths knew where to meet each other’s, when to pull apart to breath. Levi felt Eren’s tongue slide over his lips, and he knew it was then time to pull away.

“D-Did I do something wrong, sir?” Eren asked timidly, his face growing pink.

Levi shook his head, one hand still holding Eren’s hand and the other on his side. “No, I…I just think we should take a break for right now.” Levi tried to push away the heat is his stomach as he added, “You know, before things get…” His voice trailed off. He couldn’t say the words in front of Eren- too intimate. 

Eren nodded slowly, moving his hand away from Levi’s cheek. It took every ounce of self-control for Levi not to sigh at the loss of warmth. “Sorry, Captain. I’ll go back to-“

“D-Don’t call me that…when we’re alone.” Levi requested. “You can just call me by my name.”

Eren breathed it as if it had been waiting to roll off of his tongue; “Levi.” He’s never heard his name spoken in a way that made him want to shiver until now.

Levi moved his thumb over the skin of Eren’s hand slowly, nodding his head. “Say it again.” He requested, his voice hardly a whisper.

Eren moved closer, his hand resting on Levi’s cheek again. He locked eyes with Eren, their faces close enough for their noses to touch lightly. “Levi.” Eren repeated, barely letting the heat of his words touch Levi’s lips before he closed the gap between them.

Levi suppressed a moan into Eren’s mouth, his lips moving fluidly over Eren’s for a short time, before Eren pulled away. Levi was breathing raggedly, and so was Eren. Levi felt his heart pounding in his chest, and wondered briefly if Eren could hear it. He finally found his voice, and murmured, “Stay with me a while, Eren.” He didn’t wait for a response before pressing their lips together again.


End file.
